Pardon My Psychosis~II

A Three Part Three Parter

A. An Education
As it seems the obvious needs to be stated and people only want to be educated in sensational ways as opposed to reading a friggin pamphlet, here goes.

1. Baby Blues
This is the most common post-pardum illness. It rears its ugly head about 4 to 6 days after giving birth and lasts approximately 2 to 3 weeks. Symptoms usually include moodiness similar to menstral mood swings, thoughts of accidentally droppiong or hurting the baby, dreams about rolling on them while asleep, and an overall, general anxiety about your capabilities as a mother and resentment over the loss of your freedom. These are perfectly normal anxieties that 4 of every 5 new mothers experience and these symptoms usually fade around 3 weeks after their onset. Unfortunately, for 1 in 8 of these women, that is not the case.

2. Post-Pardum Depression
The unlucky 1 in 8. For women suffering from this illness, symptoms can start around the time of the Baby Blues or as late as 3 weeks after delivery and usually last 4 to 6 months, possibly even a full year. Symptoms are similar to the Baby Blues, only more sever and also include desperation, a feeling of hopelessness, and thoughts of harming yourself or the baby. Now, since we are stating the obvious, it must be said that 9 of 10 women wil NOT harm themselves or their baby and with medication and/or group or personal therapy, they are able to function normally and with treatment, their symptoms usually subside. Now there are some women who may have underlying problems such as clinical depression or anxiety disorders, for these women, staying on their medication is usually the best treatment. Unfortunately, for the remaining 1 in 10 women, the stakes are worse.

3. Post-Pardum Psychosis
These are the unfortunate few. The ones who don't seek treatment or for whom treatment does not always work. They suffer all the above symptoms to the Nth degree and some of these women lack the filter that protects their family and themselves from harm. Unfortunately society attaches so much shame to htese illnesses, making the women who suffer from them feel as though it is their fault for feeling this way, that these women do not seek help. Tis is the danger zone of Post-Pardum Illness. This is the media splash, the cases where mom leaves children locked in the house for a week unattended, where mom loses control and shakes the crying baby, where mothers figure that their child is better off without them and kills themselves and/or their babies. Awareness needs to be raised about these illnesses and the stigma removed from them. If we can do this, we can help mothers feel confident and get them the help that they need if they need it.

B. A Berating of Generations

1. Maiden
To my generation I would first like to say, kudos to those of you who are raising awareness and getting the help you need, you are truly brave. NOW, to those of you who have not or will never experience the effects of these illnesses and who seem content to perpetuate the myths proffered by our mothers and our mothers' mothers, I say GET EDUCATED!! Depression is a real illness and not merely 'feeling sorry for yourself' and these post-pardum illnesses interfere with your life so much that it affects you physically. We are supposed to be the enlightened generation so start ....ing acting like it!!!

2. Mother
To my mother's generation I would first like to say, thank you for paving the way for the liberation and enlightenment of your daughters. NOW, liberate and enlighten yourselves dammit! We are big girls now, fully capable of taking care of our own problems and defending our own principles, so stop living in the dark created by generations of ignorant and indifferent mythos and stigma. Your daughters are aware of these illnesses and may have looked back at their childhood and recognized these symptoms in some fo their own mothers and if you would GET EDUCATED and be honest with yourselves, you might recognize them too. These feelings of inadaquecy and the irrational actions you feel guilty for, most of your daughters have forgiven of you. Now is the time to educate and forgive yourselves.

3. Crone
To my grandmother's generation I would first like to say, thank you for giving your daughters the courage to pave the way for the liberation and enlightenment of ther daughters. NOW, stop perpetuating the ignorance proffered by so many generations before you. You need not suffer in silence as has been expected of you by the generations before you. You gave your daughters and granddaughters a voice, now find your own. Know that we love you and respect the true wisdom you have given us, but now is the time to GET EDUCATED and end the ignorance.

C. Today's Experiences

1. Work
I am about to slap the shit out of the lazy, ignorant SOB that works the overnight full-time shift. I swear to the powers that be that if I have to go through one more shift with that slacker half-assing every task given to him I will shove my foot up his stupid ass. He doesn't listen, doesn't move faster than a snail's pace and blames everyone else for the work that HE doesn't get done, while I am constantly takin heat for not being as physically capable of doing my job as when I was NOT 5 months pregnant with twins. Also, I only get 2 days (maybe) a week at approximately 5 hours (maybe) a day. After taxes on a bi-weekly paycheck, I barely make enough to cover the damn gas in the car. I HATE it!

2. Home
Nothing really stirring here. Just an occasional screaming match with my 3 year ol. Today was nice though as my husband let me take a nap. (Insert corny angellic music here) Also, our car is FINALLY fixed so we FINALLY got to go grocery shopping ( a task my 3 year old thoroughly enjoys) so home life has calmed me today. Now if I could just get my 7 month old to stop crying, everything would be perfect. LOL

3. Me
Today overall, has been a decent day emotionally. Last night I remembered to take all my vitamins and supplements so no anemia headaches today. Yay! Also, finally getting out has done a lot to soothe the agitated nerves brought on by a severe case of cabin fever. So far some days are good and some are bad, I would definitely chalk this one up (1-12-10) as a good day.

Conclusion
In conclusion of a day of stating the obvious, I would like to reiterate the fact that I have POst-Pardum Depression NOT Post-Pardum Psychosis. I am still undergoing therapy to help me deal with not being on my meds due to my pregnancy. This blog was actually created at the suggestion of my OB as a secondary outlet and because she knows my penchant for want ing to change the world. The statistics I have used are out of a book dated in 2005 and may not be completely accurate. And for my mommy, DFS ius fully aware of my diagnosis and says that it is completely normal as most of there welfare program recipients mothers also have PPD of some degree. And for you idiots who haven't figured it out yet let me yell it at you. I WOULD NEVER HARM MYSELF OR MY CHILDREN, EVER!!! Get educated people!

Pardon my Psychosis-1

Well, today marked day 4 for being off my anti-depressants (Celexa) for my pregnancy (twins). I spent a half hour screaming at the stupid Babies R Us website for not recognizing my zip code as being accurate for my city as I was trying to register for the Twinkies Baby Shower. Go ahead, laugh, I did (after I cooled down from my homicidal rage built up from yelling at an inanimate object).
I spent a couple of hours cooling down on stupid facebook games and having my 7 month old fall asleep on me (I don't know why he won't sleep in a bed) and thought I would go back to the stupid website and try (once again) to register. I put my name in, my address, all the fucking pertinent information I needed and the stupid thing said "does not recognize zip code for city". AAAAAGHGHGGHGH!!!!!! So I tried one of the other zips, nope....another, nope....all the fucking zip codes for this fucking, retarded, back-of-beyond city that I live in and none of them fucking worked!!!!!!! So I sat and fumed for 5 minutes and then slapped myself on the forhead. "I bet I have to spell out the damn word 'Saint'." So I did and Lo and Behold it worked. I made it all the way to the end only to realize that it doesn't let you post the sex of the babies or if you are having multiples....AAAARRRRGHHGGHG!!!! What a fucking waste of time!
Now I know what most of you are thinking as you read this, "Can going off of an anti depressant really be as bad as she is making it out to be?" The Answer? YES IT CAN AND YES IT IS!!!! I am on Celexa for Post-Pardum Depression as I have only recently just had a baby 7 months ago. I am not even fully diagnosed as both my OB/GYN and therapist suspect that I also have clinical depression and a sever anxiety disorder. I will tell you that once you are on your medication and are getting the help you need, it is the most wonderful feeling in the world because you feel like a normal person and you start to wonder how you survived all those years being miserable and hardly ever smiling. Then you have to go off it for an extended period of time and the world starts to spiral out of control. It's twice as bad when you are pregnant because on top of the lack of medication, you are also experiencing mood swings due to hormonal shifts. It fucking sucks people!
I thought that recording my experiences for posterity would benefit both me (as I will have a place to vent my feelings) and the rest of the world (as you all will know how to deal with this particular situation if it should ever happen to you or someone you love). Like it says up top, Let's Be Honest.

Open Discussion

Does anyone have anything that they would like to discuss?

Let's get Metaphysical: a Debate on Religion and Spirituality

Okay, I realize that many people stayed away from the previous debate on abortion because it touches a nerve that most peoplecan't comfortably express without becoming accusatory. Kudos to those who did express their opinions politely and eloquently though, thank you. Here is the next topic up for debate. Same rules apply here as before, so let's start the debate.

Abortion

Yes, I realize that I am taking my life into my own hands here by posting this, but I feel that if we are going to be open and honest witheach other, then this topic needs to be addressed. I only have 3 rules....
#1: Please post your honest opinion.
#2: Do NOT insult other posters, all offensive and derrogatory posts will be removed.
#3: You MUST sign your post, you do not have to sign your name but you do need to put an identifier with your comments.
Having said all that, please be respectful of other peoples opinions. I am hoping to start an open discussion on this subject. I will be posting on this topic shortly. Thanks, Andi H.

A Random Bout of Wackiness

Wouldn't it be great if chocolate was the healthiest food in the world and the more you ate the more weight you lost. And wouldn't it be great if playing MarioKart on the Wii counted as your daily excersize routine and helped you sculpt the abs of Adonis and buns and breasts of the Goddess of love herself......... . . . . . . . . . . . .Naaaaaaah!

How Come No One Told Me

How come no one told me that being a mom would shorten your attention span to that of a 3 year--SQUIRREL!!!!